Without a Dawn | A lyrical Exploration

“You put on a brave face and pretend you’re fine. You make sure they don’t see how broken you are. But is that strength or quite the opposite?” 

Another night where you are tossing in your bed, another one of those sleepless nights because this little voice in your head doesn’t accept the art of shutting the hell up. “There’s something constantly out of sync, like two cogs that never align at the right time,” the voice says. “Someone may be behind that window”, you roll to the other side. “You need to get up and check the window.” 

It’s clear to you that it’s an irrational thought and that you will feel dumb for checking. Obviously, there is nobody watching you. Why would anyone even watch you? As if there is anything interesting to your bleak existence.  

“It will only take a moment. You will be back in your bed in no time. You won’t get any sleep like this.” Defeated, you get up and walk towards the window. The few steps feel like you are going through high water. With every breath, distress is growing. Until you check the window. You open the blinds and…. find nothing. Just trees dancing in the wind.  

You go back to bed. Annoyed at yourself for giving into the urge again, you manage to fall asleep. What greets you in the haunting maze of sleep is not peaceful rest but strange dreams that you can’t comprehend. Strange dreams that feel like there is more to them. Sometimes they appear like a vision, sometimes like a memory, always leaving you confused.  

A sort of horror that most likely everyone will relate to in some capacity. A sort of narrative that is painfully human and shows what it means to live with awareness.  

Every word gets under your skin, every thought made to drive you insane. In theory, you have a choice; in practice it all feels orchestrated. Is that voice talking to you, your free will or a nagging version of a higher order? Is there an explanation for the chaos that encapsulates the neurological cage of humanity? Are we the machine or the fuel? Would we feel lighter if we knew that everyone is capable of the same thoughts but takes a different route by design? Would we feel united or trivial?  

We are the most vulnerable when night falls, when we are stripped of our masks, left alone with all the elements that we pushed back during the day. Perhaps we need the darkness of the night to allow all of us without shame. The pretty, the ugly and the in between. When the light leaves and we can’t distinguish the lines. When the difference between control and freedom dissolves into each other. We are allowed to be without compromise. There is something quite magical that even after those unsettling hours, where we succumb to our deepest thoughts, the sun rises and bathes us in all its shades. It’s the contrast between light and dark that brings out clarity. Maybe it creates room for growth. Maybe we would feel less alive Without a Dawn.  

Short videoclip

Official Trailer